Poetically Incorrect

Completely random, completely real.

  • 3rd March
  • 03

Like My Life Isn’t Hard Enough

I had an appointment with my specialist (Rheumatologist) March 23rd, but they phoned this morning and said they could get me in at 3:15, and I jumped on it.

What a giant waste of time. He didn’t even feel my tender spots. Granted I said I was in tremendous pain but since he didn’t seem to particularly care… can’t imagine that’s why he didn’t check. I told him I’ve been unable to work since November, had to drop out of school last year, am in constant, crippling pain. His first question… are you depressed?


Seriously, does he not read his fucking notes? I’m on Zoloft, have been since before my first appointment with him, HE IS AWARE OF THIS. *facepalm* I admitted that beyond depressed I’ve been thinking a lot of suicide lately… and he didn’t even bat an eye.

In the end he told me to get this stuff from the natural food store… and a prescription for this new medication (new to me, I mean). I looked it up and hopefully it’ll work… it’s still in trials for fibromyalgia but it is thought to be a mood stablizer and will help me sleep. (It’s main use is for epilepsy.)

I asked him about disability but he said our next move would be for me to go to the pain clinic first. Which would be fine if he was going to set that up, but he said to come see him in three months. UM HELLO, I’m broke. I need to bring in money. I can’t be on my feet for any length of time, but I also can’t just sit for any length of time. Something hurts or goes numb. How am I supposed to make money? Monday I’m going to the welfare office. I tried applying before but was denied… I’m not leaving until they help me out this time!!!

To make things even better… I’ve had this scab inside my nose, on both sides, for a few weeks now. It’s extremely annoying. It gets in the way and hurts, but taking it out hurts. Then a few days ago I was running a fever, have been having chills, major headaches and just feeling lousy. I figured I had a cold, but tonight I was googling the scab and from what I can tell, it’s a staph infection! Apparently it’s actually really common, but given my lower immune system I have it worse. Still not terrible though, many have it worse, but seriously, what else is going to be thrown at me? Geeeez. If my symptoms don’t clear up this weekend I’ll go to the walkin Monday… ‘cause I don’t already see doctors enough…………

  • 13th February
  • 13