Poetically Incorrect

If you haven’t noticed, my spirits have been picked up a bit. Yesterday afternoon my boyfriend and I got the opportunity to adopt a beautiful dog. He’s a five year-old Shih-tzu (he came with his papers), shots are up to date, he’s neautered, and he needed a good home. We were hesitant given the cost of owning a dog, but in the end we decided we had to have him.

Even my parents have said it was meant to be. I’m a country girl, and his name is Stetson. He loves to lay around, go for car rides, go for walks. Him and the cats already get along and even share a water dish. He was just meant to be a member of our family. We love him so much.

The people who were giving him up had found someone Friday but that person had to return him because their landlord said no. It was just so perfect.

They gave us a bag of the food he was eating but he wouldn’t touch it and had actually been nibbling at the cat food. We went to Superstore tonight and found some Beneful that was made specifically for small dogs, with small pieces and everything. When we got home we put a small bowl of it down and he ate it all up. Guess we found him the right stuff!

We also got him a couple toys, one is a small hedgehog that squeeks. He pounced on it before I could even get the tags off, he just loves it. It’s awesome.

We love him so much and really are so blessed he found us. We are already completely in love and my boyfriend has said, we’re his third owner’s (last owners had him for a year) but that’s it. He’s ours for life. <3

I went to mental health today and asked for an intake interview… should get a call in a day or two. I am depressed but not suicidal, but I do sometimes think death is the only way out of this pain. If my doctor won’t get me disability for my fibro then I’m getting it for my depression… this is such bull shit. I live in constant, agonizing pain, and the doctor says, “Come see me again in three months.”

:/

I had an appointment with my specialist (Rheumatologist) March 23rd, but they phoned this morning and said they could get me in at 3:15, and I jumped on it.

What a giant waste of time. He didn’t even feel my tender spots. Granted I said I was in tremendous pain but since he didn’t seem to particularly care… can’t imagine that’s why he didn’t check. I told him I’ve been unable to work since November, had to drop out of school last year, am in constant, crippling pain. His first question… are you depressed?

NO, I’M A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, does he not read his fucking notes? I’m on Zoloft, have been since before my first appointment with him, HE IS AWARE OF THIS. *facepalm* I admitted that beyond depressed I’ve been thinking a lot of suicide lately… and he didn’t even bat an eye.

In the end he told me to get this stuff from the natural food store… and a prescription for this new medication (new to me, I mean). I looked it up and hopefully it’ll work… it’s still in trials for fibromyalgia but it is thought to be a mood stablizer and will help me sleep. (It’s main use is for epilepsy.)

I asked him about disability but he said our next move would be for me to go to the pain clinic first. Which would be fine if he was going to set that up, but he said to come see him in three months. UM HELLO, I’m broke. I need to bring in money. I can’t be on my feet for any length of time, but I also can’t just sit for any length of time. Something hurts or goes numb. How am I supposed to make money? Monday I’m going to the welfare office. I tried applying before but was denied… I’m not leaving until they help me out this time!!!

To make things even better… I’ve had this scab inside my nose, on both sides, for a few weeks now. It’s extremely annoying. It gets in the way and hurts, but taking it out hurts. Then a few days ago I was running a fever, have been having chills, major headaches and just feeling lousy. I figured I had a cold, but tonight I was googling the scab and from what I can tell, it’s a staph infection! Apparently it’s actually really common, but given my lower immune system I have it worse. Still not terrible though, many have it worse, but seriously, what else is going to be thrown at me? Geeeez. If my symptoms don’t clear up this weekend I’ll go to the walkin Monday… ‘cause I don’t already see doctors enough…………